


Gorgon

by Hyacinthium



Series: Rotary [6]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Tokyo Ghoul, Angst, Blood and Gore, Cannibalism, Canon-Typical Content, Cooking, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Masochism, Mental Instability, Mild Sexual Content, No actual sex, Pre-Canon, Pre-Game Personalities (New Dangan Ronpa V3), Saihara Shuichi's Birthday, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-07
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2019-07-08 07:33:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15925790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hyacinthium/pseuds/Hyacinthium
Summary: Kokichi looks down at the pot of slowly simmering soup. It smells delicious, as always. His shaking hands grab saucer and ladle, careful to not spill anything, and the boy pours some of the soup into the small piece of china. He's not sure why he's so nervous. Kokichi knows that he did everything right. It's right. Shuichi will come home to the best birthday dinner possible. Then they'll watch Danganronpa together.And he'll love Kokichi's gift.





	Gorgon

**Author's Note:**

> DO NOT READ THIS UNLESS YOU'VE FINISHED AT LEAST UP TO MEDUSA OF THIS SERIES. ALSO IF YOU ARE LIKE TWELVE YEARS OLD OR OTHERWISE NOT MATURE ENOUGH TO READ FUCKED UP SHIT? 
> 
> I warned you. And I'm assuming anyone reading this has read the rest of my series, and thus has seen my copious warnings. But anyway: there is cannibalism here. Tread carefully. 
> 
> Hey pals! It's been a while since I wrote in this series... But some peeps joined the saiou pit and kind of got me stuck in the Fey Mood. And then it was Shuichi's birthday, and I'd been talking a lot about Rotary in depth with people in an appropriate channel. And then I just kinda. Found a shit ton of art that once helped inspire the whole Ghoulhara and Kokichi thing. 
> 
> So. This happened. 
> 
> This is 'canonically' what the pregames of Shuichi and Kokichi are like, for Medusa loop. Of course, it ended up not mattering for Kokichi. Shuichi... I'm not too sure.

Kokichi looks down at the pot of slowly simmering soup. It smells delicious, as always. His shaking hands grab saucer and ladle, careful to not spill anything, and the boy pours some of the soup into the small piece of china. He's not sure why he's so nervous. Kokichi knows that he did everything right. It's right. Shuichi will come home to the best birthday dinner possible. Then they'll watch Danganronpa together. 

And he'll love Kokichi's gift. 

Taking the slightly wavering saucer to bitten lips, Kokichi blows on the steaming liquid. He's always been a good cook. Constantly reading cook books and having to account for a small budget, it's combined into him being both resourceful and skilled. Being able to look up anything at anytime helps too. 

Purple eyes grow momentarily unfocused, staring down at shimmering broth. Kokichi slowly lowers his lips and winces at the strain. Still, he slurps up the soup. 

It's… good. The soup is savory with a hint of spices, both the vegetables and the almost sweet taste of the meat are-

Kokichi flinches when he hears the ladle drop. He stares down at it and considers just kicking the thing to a place where Shuichi wouldn't see. But he has to pick it up and clean it properly, before Shuichi gets home, and Kokichi already took some really strong painkillers. Bending down to pick it up with his right hand will be fine. The wounds aren't too bad. They're properly treated and dealt with. Kokichi will be absolutely fine, he tells himself. 

hurts hurts hurts

Kokichi stumbles into the sink counter and drops the ladle in, hearing soup simmer away, and he blasts the dirty cooking utensil with water. Just turns on the facet and uses one hand to run it under scalding liquid. His left arm serving to support him, hand dangling and twinging over the edge of the sink. The ladle drops into it with a clatter. 

Thirty minutes until Shuichi gets home. More than enough time. All Shuichi will see is dinner set out on the table and Kokichi in his seat. Waiting and smiling like normal. It'll be just like it's supposed to be. 

“Ehehe,” Kokichi mutters, half giggles and half exhalation. Exhilaration, maybe. 

Meeting and moving in together for the reasons that they did should mean something. Obviously, it does, and their relationship doesn't just ignore how it started either. Shuichi just hasn't made any moves yet. At all. It's so nerve-wrackingly annoying sometimes. It's so frustrating to be so attached. To be kept so shockingly safe, but to also not get what you want. What you offered up to all the sharks in the water. 

The boy smiles and pinches at his no longer emancipated stomach. Getting to eat regularly and cook regularly, not just for or by himself either… 

Giving back to Shuichi on the man's birthday is just normal. 

The ladle is placed in the drying rack and Kokichi walks back over to the kitchen table. It's already set up for dinner, bowls and silverware out next to glasses and plates. A large bowl of mixed salad sits in the center. Kokichi's right hand grabs the tongs and cautiously l dishes out leafy greens. He breathes slowly, in and out, and makes sure that Shuichi gets an extra cherry tomato just because he can. 

Right. Now he just has to serve the soup. It smells delicious and Shuichi is going to love it. He'll be home soon too. 

Kokichi swallows despite his dry mouth and grabs Shuichi's bowl. He's done so very good. He's cleaned up perfectly. Shuichi will only smell the soup because of how fragrant it is. 

Shuichi won't be able to tell what Kokichi did. 

Not at first. 

His hands shake and spill as soup is deposited into the bowl, metal and stoneware clinking together, and Kokichi fears that his left hand will crumble up in pain. That he'll drop and spill the soup everywhere. If that actually happens, then the boy will have to clean it all up regardless of his pain. 

The dull but strongly stabbing ache around those places. His hip, his back, his… 

Kokichi sets the bowls back down onto their table, deciding to leave Shuichi's at the counter near the stove. The kitchen looms behind him with the smell of a meal coy and tempting. He hasn't eaten all day, again. But it was for a good reason this time. Eating might have turned out badly. Kokichi will just not tell Shuichi about that part of his day. 

Memories flit past Kokichi's eyes. Of course, of course he'd have to ask for help. There's no way to hide it if it happens in their home. So of course Kokichi would go to their neighbor… 

The boy's right hand tugs at his hair as he sits down. 

Ticks and tocks fill up the room, soup now cooling before going into the fridge, and Kokichi patiently waits for Shuichi to come back home. 

Just five more- Oh wait! 

Kokichi forces himself up and over to Shuichi side of the table. He leans over the bowl and considers how to do this. To think that he would ever almost forgot about this idea. 

His tongue licks around the inside of his mouth, movement and the echo of hunger-food-delicious causing excess saliva to be produced. Kokichi slowly lowers his face nearer to steaming hot soup and opens his mouth. Drooling out shockingly fast, Kokichi's spit drips right into Shuichi's bowl. One, two, three fat globs followed by more tiny drops of runny saliva. Kokichi stays like that for a good minute, letting his mouth water and stirring the fluids in. 

Shuichi always loves to kiss him, so this is fine. Kokichi has good hygiene everywhere and this dinner needs to be a special as possible. 

Standing up properly and sitting down again still hurts horribly. But it's alright, because Kokichi just has to pat the thick bandage on his neck and then he's all better. The place where Shuichi bit him last week is healing nicely. It barely even hurts now. Not like Kokichi's back or his hip. The bite on Kokichi's neck feels good, feels amazing, knowing that Shuichi likes the taste of him is the best feeling in the world. 

Once Shuichi walks in through the door and eats the home made meal, those places won't hurt either. All the pain will switch around and Kokichi will be so very happy. The boy knows that he'll melt and stammer like a fool. 

Kokichi smiles faintly with petal pale pinkness bringing life to his form. 

He keeps his hands in his lap. They touch the soft flesh of his thighs, and the shaking of his left hand doesn't stop his fingers from running down a still unfamiliar softness. Kokichi traces where he vividly recalls skin safe marker drawing dotted lines. Golden eyes staring down with a heavy smile. Not from something upset or anguished, but because the atmosphere was twisting into something far more intimate than either boys considered. But with the way their previously cautious and business like correspondence evolved into friendly and warm texts when no one else in Kokichi's life provided anything at all-

Bright purple ends find their way into Kokichi's mouth. He chews and chews on silky strands of hair, unwilling to try and find his gum. 

The cellphone is broken, he recalls. That's why Shuichi had to use the house phone. Oh well. 

Clicking and the sound of the door opening pushes away Kokichi's thoughts. He almost tries to burst out of his seat. Being able to welcome Shuichi home with a hug and kiss is something that Kokichi adores. Having the same done to him is just as great. Jobs tend to hinder that at times, but it's alright. Still… 

Kokichi can't get up right now, so he calls out, “Saihara-kun! I'm at the kitchen table right now!”

Footsteps slowly make their way towards the kitchen, steady but obvious on that they're heavy with guilt, and Shuichi's face reflects the sound of his footsteps perfectly. The boy is always like this. Slumped but ramrod straight as he stares at the food on the table. 

“You haven't eaten ‘properly’ in a while again… and it's your birthday too,” Kokichi rushes out. “So I made something special. You'll be tempted to binge eat otherwise, after all.”

A weak smile, “Ouma-kun is right again. Ah, thank you for cooking like this. Even though it must be-”

Kokichi laughs cheerfully and fears that Shuichi can smell it. That Shuichi knows and could tell the moment he opened the door. Watching the other boy remove his hat is fulfilling, but Kokichi's stomach can't relax yet. They give their thanks for the food and purple eyes burn as Shuichi's fingers and mouth take up everything. 

“Does it smell good?” Kokichi asks. 

One shy nod. 

Shuichi gingerly picks up his spoon and gets a nice helping of meat on it. The spoon quivers for a moment. It's always a little hard for Shuichi to eat after weeks of skipping. After so much time of not hunting. Really, Kokichi suspects that the other boy never thought that Kokichi's advertisement would be genuine. 

“I mixed cow beef in too, to make it easier for you to eat. There's a few different cuts… I asked your neighbor for some help,” a slip of the tongue with that last bit, but it doesn't matter. 

Kokichi shivers as Shuichi bites into his food and freezes. 

That one beautiful eye blooms into red and black, Shuichi's jaw slamming shut as he stares at Kokichi in horror. Like a flower coming to life while Kokichi's mouth curls and snakes into something desperately burning. Not even glimpses of pantomime white in Kokichi's peripheral vision can distract him. 

It seems that the taste betrays more than the smell. 

A few different cuts to disguise that all the meat that isn't cattle is from Kokichi's own body. Going to the neighbor because she's a butcher and doing at home would leave too much evidence of Kokichi's actions. Because for all her confusion and unsettled emotions, for all her disturbed ‘are you really a human that wants to be eaten?’, Shuichi's neighbor is a ghoul. Just like Shuichi is. 

“Happy Birthday, Saihara-kun!” Kokichi whines, the hip and back burning where flesh and meat was removed from them. 

The boy's hands spasm around one another while those eyes dig into him. Kokichi can't help but flush as a drunken kind of warmth rolls over him, a wave of dizziness and pleasant spikes, as Shuichi slowly watches Kokichi fidget and pant. 

She'd said, are you sure you don't want to be numbed. Not like a question. Because after the first dozen questions there was no asking if Kokichi was sure. Kokichi had frowned and said that anything to stop pain might make him taste bad. She'd then made a joke about not doing living subjects with her kakugan gleaming. Kokichi smiled and replied that Shuichi would eat her alive. She had shut up after that. 

“You don't have to worry or anything. It's all taken care of with the wound dressed. Please,” Kokichi says. “Please eat.”

“Why aren't you showing me your hands?” Shuichi asks instead. Slowly and softly, but Shuichi's spoon gradually goes down for more. 

A guilty smile and pinpricks of sweat betray Kokichi instantly. Of course, Shuichi is intelligent and loves his Detectives. Kokichi huffs and brings his right hand up to cover his mouth. Purple eyes turn half shut. Breathy and hesitantly as he watches Shuichi just tease him-

Kokichi's well bandaged left hand gets laid out on the table. He even stands up and lets Shuichi look at him fully. No amount of white or sterilization can hide the exceedingly obvious, nor denial. Kokichi's left ring finger is simply gone after the second joint. He's put a lot of time into reading up on the safest places to. To cut off or injure. The pinkie finger would be really nice symbolism too, but it would cause more problems. Honestly, the ring finger is even better. Shuichi must be able to tell too. 

His throbbing hand gets held gently while Shuichi removes the bandages. The sight of Kokichi's gift seems to be too much for the half ghoul. 

“Ouma-kun… I don't-” 

“You shouldn't lie to me,” Kokichi says. He grabs hold of Shuichi's arm with his right hand and pulls them closer, closer, until there's barely enough air or table to separate them. “You know why! Saihara Shuichi knows why and he knows that I want him to eat me, right?! You have to want to do it too. We talked for months and months online to plan it all out. I'm your emergency in case things go wrong. I'm for when we finally get into Danganronpa and you can do whatever you want to me!”

Heavy breathing fills the kitchen, “Why won't you do more than barely bite me and lick at my blood, huh? Why does Saihara not want me the way he promised?”

Shuichi has no answers to give. 

“What do I have to do so that Shuichi will eat me, like we talked about online? I really- I love you so much. I really really love Shuichi,” Kokichi mutters. Shuichi's mismatched and perfectly complementary eyes gaze back into his, face flushed, and mouth open. 

It's not the first time that Kokichi has confessed his feelings. Within the year that they've known one another and the three months of their relationship becoming sexual, Kokichi has talked about his feelings a lot. Before bed. During sex with his heart pounding and his mind blanking out. While Shuichi bakes and cooks while he hums away. Taking a bath together to save money. When the ghoul investigators that once saved Kokichi came to visit unexpectedly, the two boys out at a cafe not far from the college campus that Shuichi and Kokichi both attend. 

The perfect cover is a human that has the trust of Doves. A human that is absolutely begging to get eaten. So willing that he tries hooking up with a ghoul online. 

Kokichi has successfully found his ghoul. So why did he have to do all this himself? 

Shuichi sighs and closes his eyes in one smooth moment. His thumb rubs into the trembling skin of Kokichi's left hand. Gently, carefully, Shuichi brings that hand up to his lips and presses a chaste kiss to pale skin. His lips are soft as always. They hide the promise of teeth made to cut through flesh and crush bone. Past them is Shuichi's mouth which provide Kokichi loving words and possessive bites. The tongue that runs across Kokichi's neck as Shuichi's fingernails trail along his back, creating thin rivers of blood, all making Kokichi moan at night. 

“You really want me to do this much… always accepting me so easily,” the half-ghoul breathes. 

“I'd let you kill me a thousand times over,” Kokichi promises. 

Looking up and drifting down towards Kokichi's cauterized stump, Shuichi spreads the other fingers away from it. Both of them feel like they're burning up. Kokichi isn't sure, of course, but leaning over their slowly cooling dinners is fueling up with a different kind of hunger- the need for a different sort of meal. It's not exactly a new kind of feeling for him to get. 

The Saihara that watches Dangan Ronpa and grins, leering freely despite how hard he tries. The Saihara that held down Kokichi's squirming body and explained each different cut, nontoxic marker tracing lovingly on exposed skin. The Saihara that smiled at Kokichi the day they first meet in real life, earnest excitement fluttering around them. That Saihara who let Kokichi sleep in his house and fed him with increasing portions, planning out meals with care and always so happy about Kokichi getting healthier. Saihara who listened quietly to Kokichi's half awake half still dreaming rambles, and held him all night. 

Saihara Shuichi who has sex with Kokichi like they're making love. 

Kokichi moans when he feels something wet flick against the proof of his adoration, pain and discomfort flaring before being joined by ecstasy. Shuichi laps his tongue against the end of what used to be Kokichi's finger. His teeth skim from top to bottom and spreading saliva along with lightning. 

His left hand and arm are jolting even as Shuichi holds them still. Kokichi himself just whimpers and mewls. His eyes threaten to flutter shut. But the sight of Shuichi's mouth worshiping him is too much. 

“Kokichi, isn't this a bit too big of a change for the show?” Shuichi says after pulling away. 

Lips quirked up into that look. A flushed little grin that fills up with a type of affection that Kokichi never thought would belong to him. 

He rubs his legs together in a way that's impossible to mistake, “They can fix it all up and make it unnoticeable. That's what Danganronpa does. They'll make me perfect for you.”

“You already were, you always are too. I really love you Kokichi! So… I can't kill you until we get into Danganronpa. Sorry. And I can't let anyone else get you either. ”

Kokichi shudders and clenches his eyes shut. Hearing that is too much. It's just-

‘What kind of human actually wants to be eaten?’

‘If you don't break him out of this soon, he's not going to be here let alone become any kind of investigator!’

‘He'll join a Fangan in less than a year.’

‘The boy was just raised to be like cattle. Even his classmates have caught on. You people weren't prepared to help this sort of child, and now he just knows how to hide better.’

‘Oh, him? Just stay away from Ouma. There's something wrong with him.’

‘With our sincere apologies… we must let you go from the academy. You'll be compensated and provided further schooling, and an apartment until - ‘

‘Honey, it's mommy's turn now.’

Warmth and wetness pull Kokichi's mind away and back to the sensation of Shuichi sucking at his wound. It's growing noisier than the start. Kokichi hopes that he tastes good. He hopes that Shuichi is letting go of that dreadful need to be polite and good. That the half ghoul is sinking away from that despair, away from thinking that he's a monster, drowning in knowing that so long as it's Kokichi that he's with-

Things like ‘monster’ can't ever apply to Shuichi. Kokichi needs to tell him that. He wants to beg for Shuichi to bite down.

“I don't want anyone else to eat me anymore. I'll only let Shuichi have me. P-please?” Kokichi pleads, heartbeat erratic and eyes wet. Echoing words lurk in the back of his skull, and he needs them to go away. 

Mutual lust hazed eyes meet to no avail. He tries to open his mouth again, to beg, but all that leaves his lips is a strangled shout. 

Down at the base of his ring finger and biting in, biting in and past flesh into bone and crushing-crunching, taking only a few seconds in total but surging throughout Kokichi's whole body even so. It sounds… 

Kokichi finds that his right hand is up against his mouth. He can't remember putting it there. All he can feel is need and pain confusion in his brain, sending him twitching and careening. The pain where a slice near his hip and ass are the strips from his back, hadn't been right because they weren't from Shuichi, are nothing compared to the tear inducing sensation of this. They're nothing compared to Shuichi biting off this finger so intimately. 

There must be something wrong with Kokichi. Has to be, because all he can do is let his eyes roll back and like the hurt. Each sound of Shuichi slurping up fresh blood feels romantic. Even if Kokichi's brain is kicking into gear and numbing where Kokichi's ringer finger is now totally gone. 

Red flushed ears hear obscene tooth to bone sounds and Kokichi can't stop himself, “I love you, I love you, I can't wait for you to kill me. As horribly as you want, please make my death so gruesome that they can't even investigate it!”

Blood drips onto their wooden table. Their soup must only be lukewarm by now. 

A pacifistic boy whose world view is centered upon the dichotomy of lies and truths. ‘Ouma Kokichi’ who is strong and untameable, despite his morals he accepts ghouls that comply with his code of conduct. Intelligent and distrusting. A hesitant boy whose nature makes him struggle to accept himself. ‘Saihara Shuichi’ who is a half-ghoul incapable of killing, having been born lucky and humble. He wants to reach out to people even with his lists of baggage. A Detective and a Mystery. 

That's the kind of character files that they've already received. The most basic of reports, but Shuichi has already theorized a dozen ways to kill. Already narrated them to Kokichi while teasing him into a frenzy. 

Kokichi smiles when Shuichi finally kisses him. He opens his mouth and welcomes the blood. The bits of flesh and bone. 

“You own me now. I'm your present,” Kokichi reminds his dearest and most beloved person. “I was born just to meet you.”

“Could have sworn I already owned you before this?” Shuichi quietly questions, fingers gently caressing Kokichi's fresh wound. 

It makes Kokichi's chest feel tight and his throat let out a groan. His mouth is full of his own blood and Shuichi's saliva, but his lips and throat feel parched. Shuichi is starting to press previously discarded gauze into Kokichi's wound, but the half ghoul doesn't seem to want to leave yet. Not enough to go grab the wound kit. Maybe he'll decide that just this and the soup isn't enough. Maybe Shuichi will go get the marker and put a tie around Kokichi's arm, wanting to take Kokichi's whole hand. That might be hard for Team Danganronpa to fix. 

“Well. It's because that finger is- I just wanted to also…”

Shuichi pauses and his gorgeous eyes snap between Kokichi's lack of finger and Kokichi's darkened gaze. The near innocently wonder filled expression that Kokichi knows is there. 

Another kiss, this time with their mouths closed and chaste. Eyes open the way that Kokichi always begs for. 

“Happy birthday, Shuichi,” Kokichi repeats. 

An hour later, time filled with fresh cauterization plus general wound treating, and a quickie; Shuichi and Kokichi finish up their dinner on the sofa, watching reruns of season 52 with two cups of freshly brewed coffee. 

“Hey Kokichi?”

“Mmm?”

“What do you think about poison… or being crushed alive?”

Purple eyes blink thoughtfully and the boy in question turns to look up at the boy whose lap he's in. A kagune pulls him close. Kokichi ignores the inverted reflection staring at them, it's gaze bored. It's never matter before, never said anything, never done anything but watch. Kokichi has learned not to beg it for help. 

“I'd love that.”

Much much later, in front of a camera and wearing a provided middle school uniform, Kokichi remembers the guidelines and tries to think about what would hurt his character the most. What would most hurt the Ultimate Detective, Saihara Shuichi. He shivers and lets his hands wrap up into a ball against his chest. His smile is wilting and bubbling up in alternating currents. The ghost peels scales in a corner, watching in interest with pointy pinpoint pupils and magenta irises against tar stained skin, white hair writhing like snakes. 

“I want to join Danganronpa because… because I want my lover to murder me. And eat me,” Kokichi slowly says. He scratches at the slightly mismatched skin where left hand and left ring finger meet. The plain metal band and the chain holding it burn against his chest. 

Kokichi giggles and licks his kiss metallic-sore lips, “I've always wanted to die and be useful. There's no other point in me existing, unless someone is using me, so I want to be useful for Shuichi. I couldn't become anything like a person even when people tried. You know, they tried to make me a ghoul investigator for eight years after saving me? But they couldn't-”

“I just want Saihara to eat me. That way we'll always be together. Sorry.”

(So you're what got generated this time? That's fine. It's not like you'll be the one in game… you liar.)

**Author's Note:**

> Running his fingers through a sleeping Kokichi's hair, Shuichi feels the fullness of his stomach and tries to pretend that he fully meant everything said. He tries to smile and tries to think about his character pushing Kokichi down, snapping the boy's neck for reasons neither fictional recreation actually understands, and tries to laugh. He pulls Kokichi closer instead. 
> 
> He looks at Kokichi's sleeping innocence and imagines a world where they're happy and healthy. Somewhere fake where they're both humans and people and filled with the joy of being alive. Like white noise and static. The illusion crumbles like the envelopes with their acceptance letters. 
> 
> Just another month and they'll have another chance. Just another month and they can try again, as new people. New people that want to live. 
> 
> Shuichi watches Kokichi sleep and starts to cry.


End file.
